dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
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