Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
