Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
