maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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