Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
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Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
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I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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