Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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