And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
