fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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