yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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