i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
