i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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