wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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