idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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