Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Ketchup is God's man juice
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
