How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
