Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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