I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
