so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
