my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
