I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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