sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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