This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
