woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
