Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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