What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
