Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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