Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
