Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
