Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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