I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize