first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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