dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
