didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
