Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
