I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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