i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
