I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
