do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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