sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
