I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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