Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
