i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm sobbing to NWA
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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