Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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