Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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