and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
