There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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