That's when you crack a 10am beer
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
