Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I think people are normalizing furries
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
