My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize