just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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