so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's no shave November. This is our time.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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