So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
