I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
