She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
