you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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