so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
my liver is dry heaving
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
