I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
