Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize