I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
