Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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