They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
