I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
