So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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