Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
