I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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