If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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