You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
