Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
this will be a night to untag.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
