We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
