Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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